This is the first time in years since I’ve worn a two piece confidently. People have always viewed my body as scandalous so they restricted me on what to wear and what not to wear. I remember in high school I had a hard time finding where I fit in because people would always tell me “oh you can’t wear that.” and “Don’t you think you’re a little too big to wear that?” It’s been a constant struggle for me. I had to adjust to who everybody wanted me to be and in that process I lost myself. I lost Jael. For a while I was just a lost girl not knowing where I was going. I use to be so ashamed of my body, my stretch marks, my nappy hair and my chubby cheeks. I hid the confident Jael in oversized hoodies and baggy pants. I lived that way for almost 5 years. I don’t know where the confidence came from but one day I woke up and bought some booty shorts. They were the only ones I would own for the next 3 years but it didn’t matter to me. I wore them every week for 3 years until I was old enough to understand why people hated my body. When I came to the understanding that some of the people who talked me down were jealous of me I was stupefied. But it all made sense in the end.
I started blogging and took on the challenge of expressing myself to the world and with every new outfit the world saw a glimpse of this beautiful girl who was fighting for acceptance. Eventually I let myself go and it was the best decision I ever made. I stopped holding back, started loving my big thighs, fat stomach, stretch marks, big boobs, nappy hair and big booty. I find it intriguing that men find me attractive and some even sexy. It took me a while to accept that but I’m glad I did. This is the first time in years since I’ve worn a two piece and I look freaking amazing.
That’s all for now, until next time stay fabu-lous!
