“I Look at myself in the mirror say we gon win, knock me down 9 times and I’ll get up 10.” -Cardi B
I was only 19 when I realized that it took me 19 years to love myself.
I had to lose myself to love myself. Everyone else that I thought loved me to the moon didn’t love me like me. It took me 19 years to realize that.
My idea of a good life is loving yourself flaws and all but from the age of 11 I started dealing with self hate. First it started with my face, then my skin, then my weight and then my boobs. Society’s idea of the “perfect body” is enforced on us daily; it was enforced on me. There were a few times when I stood in front of the mirror questioning the size of my boobs and the rapid rate they were growing at. They began to sag as normal boobs do and of course that was a problem because society made it one. A year ago I use to say ‘when I get rich and famous I would go and get my body done. Fix up my boobs and probably reduce them too.’ I didn’t know how damaging those words were. I lived in the shadow of my fear because of that very thought. I see too many girls my age and body size worry about the size of their boobs and if people will judge them. Apparently when you have double D’s it’s not supposed to sag… who knew? I mean… wow! Can you just imagine physics not doing its job and what goes up doesn’t really come down? Lol. We need to get a hold of ourselves.

The obsession of the ‘hour glass’ figure is just disgusting. I remember being told in my modeling class about two years ago that my body shape was a full hourglass but I would look even better if my boobs were a little smaller… Can you just imagine? My instructor was a little taken back by the fact that I was not surprised by her observations. The thing is I didn’t care because I was at a good place in my life. I loved my body and I didn’t feel like the shape of my body was my identity. I was getting a better understanding of the person I wanted to be. Identity is such a tricky topic. Everybody’s riding the wave of  “I know who I am” when in reality nobody truly knows who they are. You might know your likes and dislikes and your experiences but we’re all strangers passing through, getting to know the person we’re becoming daily. We all aspire to be something in life and everyday we’re getting a better understanding of that person we aspire to be; that’s our identity. My saggy boobs is who I am; that is my identity and it’s high time I start accepting that fact and being confident in it. I don’t ever want to look back on my early years of life and realize that I didn’t love myself enough or that I took my body for granted. I want to live my best possible life now. I’m slowly accepting the fact that boobs are just meant to exist; they do sag with time but wearing a bra does not make it any better or worse. They just exist, so learn to love the darn things. Remember that it’s important to love your body and accept yourself for who you are. If being comfortable with your saggy boobs makes others uncomfortable then maybe those people are not for you. Never apologize for being who you are. You are beautiful.

p.s. I’m going braless for a week to try it out, if it works then I might burn all my bras lol.