Hey dolls!

I’ve been thinking lately about the problems we face as women. As much as the systems in place were built and are run by men, we also have a part to play in it. Take for example Patrichy, It is only effective when we play into it and as women we are very good at that. The problem of a woman was never a man but rather her fellow woman. I see us tearing each other down daily and using the sticks from fallen homes to build ours. I’m not exempted from this either. I have seen myself go very low before just to prove a point and when I took a step back I saw how ugly it looked. I don’t understand the true meaning of sisterhood because I’m yet to see a real one. That’s not to say every group is without flaws but when the “flaws’ ‘ are envy and jealousy, it’s very dangerous. ‘I’ve alway been a girl’s girl. Growing up I surrounded myself with girls, made friends with girls and at one point had a girl group. At a tender age I could tell that being around girls was more difficult than being with boys. Boys I thought were easy to communicate with, have a stronger bond with and easier to get along with. But I always thought that it would be easy to stay with my own because one problem I faced with being around boys is that I was labeled promiscuous. Around my teenage years when I went back to having a girl group I saw so many ugly things and it made me feel somehow. At the time I thought it was the pressure of adolescent years and growth but now that I’m an adult I can see that those “ugly” things were just bad characters that some people refused to work on. Fast forward to today and the reality is the same. I no longer have a girl group let alone friends. I stay by myself and try to focus on myself because my biggest hurts have been from women and most especially women that were supposed to be pillars. I don’t know when this narrative will change but I’m praying for a better world for my future daughter. I want her to grow up and have a girl bestfriend or better yet have a girl group that she will adore. I hope I never have to worry about another woman tearing her down or “building” her character. I’m praying for the day we will all come together as women and genuinely cheer each other on. I pray I live to see that day. 

With love,

Jael